| << Fato Profugus entries from 11/05/00 to
05/16/01 << Lost entries from 06/05/01 to 07/13/01 Lunacy entries from 02/18/02 to 05/31/02>> Congestive Soul Failure entries from 06/11/02>> |
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What a Damned Mess |
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| Feb 07 |
Brain Worms (Existential Crisis
#8)
This is just pitiful and pathetic. Read more... |
| Feb 06 |
Substance D
Dopamine and the nucleus accumbens. Read more... |
| Feb 05 |
Shoulda, Coulda
Existential crisis #7 Read more... |
| Jan 27 |
Med School Ruined My Life
My sense of normalcy has been completely
destroyed. Read
more... |
| Jan 25 |
Commando
Caveat: Zippers really chafe. Read more... |
| Jan 24 |
You Call This A Blog?
"Procrastination is like masturbation. It's
fun until you realize you're only screwing yourself." Read more... |
| Jan 23 |
What Day Is It?
Randomness percolating in my brain. Read more... |
| Jan 19 |
Existential Crisis - Episode 6
A meditation. Thinking of things that should
not be thought of at this particular hour. Read more... |
| Jan 16 |
Snowfall
Everything is a map to me. Snow makes me
feel like I've been transported to another world. Read more... |
| Jan 16 |
Addiction (For Love of a Stump)
Acrotomophiliacs. Are endorphins even more
addicting than heroin? Read
more... |
| Jan 13 |
Break It Down Again
"Laziness" doesn't seem quite descriptive
enough. Neither does "atypical depression." What the hell is this
monkey sitting on my shoulder? Read more... |
| Jan 10 |
It Wasn't That the World
Changed...
More thoughts about Dhalgren and the nature
of synchronicity. Read
more... |
| Jan 09 |
An Excerpt from Dhalgren
Then sometimes you just have to appropriate
a passage from someone else's masterpiece because it all fits so
well. Read
more... |
| Jan 06 |
Slide
For every punch in the gut you take,
sometimes they give you a lollipop. Doesn't do much for the pain,
but hey, you take what you get, right? Read more... |
| Jan 05 |
New Year, Shnew Year
Stress can be a real killer. I hate it! I
hate it! I hate it! Read
more... |
| Dec 31 |
It's the End of the World as We Know
It
Time marches on. Read more... |
| Dec 11 |
Alanganin
Am I a failure? You can't fail if you don't
try. (As Homer Simpson once said, "Trying is the first step to
failure.") Read
more... |
| Dec 08 |
Insomnia
Deep, depressing thoughts at 4:30am.
Read more... |
| Dec 05 |
The Edge of Decision
Drive. Read more... |
| Dec 04 |
But Not Yet
Serious weirdness all around. Read more... |
| Dec 03 |
My Random Self
More insane garbage spewing out of my mind.
Anything to pass the time more quickly. I can't wait to go home.
Read more... |
| Dec 01 |
The Devil's Playground
Back to the art of not wanting. Oh, but how
my heart aches. Read
more... |
| Nov 29 |
Is It Real?
Vague as usual. Where is my mind. Read more... |
| Nov 24 |
Just Look At The Sky
With all this talk of drama and all, I have
suddenly realized what I miss the most. Read more... |
| Nov 21 |
Fragged and Shagged
Bits and pieces of me keep passing out.
Read more... |
| Nov 19 |
Pandora's Box
A soap opera is brewing. (At least in my
head.) Maybe I should just stick to my "Hear no evil, see no evil"
policy. Read
more... |
| Nov 15 |
Brown Buffalo
Viva la Revolucion. Mabuhay ang Himagsikan.
More and more, I'm believing that we're fighting a common struggle
that transcends race, religion, social class, or whatever axis you
want to devise. Are you a cockroach or an exterminator? The
conquered or the conqueror? In other words, are you for or against
humanity? Read
more... |
| Nov 10 |
Whelm
Neither under or over. Read more... |
| Nov 01 |
All Saints
Breasts. Testicles. Electroconvulsive
therapy. Read
more... |
| Oct 31 |
Cutting at Oblique Angles (Doing
Things the Hard Way)
I like to organize things, even memories,
landfill style, one stratum at a time. Read more... |
| Oct 26 |
I Don't Want No One Minute Blog
I'm done. It's snowing. I'm outta here.
Read more... |
| Oct 24 |
Jack the Ripper
Johnny Depp, laudanum and absinthe,
pathology and clinical neuroscience, Freemasonry. It's got it all.
Read more... |
| Oct 23 |
One to Go
To Infinity and Beyond! Get paid for lying
in bed for thirty days straight. Read more... |
| Oct 22 |
I Read the News Today, Oh Boy
TV really does rot your brain. Shouldn't
capitalism be subservient to democracy and not the other way
around? Read
more... |
| Oct 19 |
High Intensity White Noise (Flight of
Ideas)
No I'm not crazy. Yet. God give me strength.
Read more... |
| Oct 17 |
Last Night Radiohead Saved My Life
(One Thing Leads to Another)
Sleep deprivation and a classic case of
flight of ideas. Thank God for Thom Yorke and his merry men.
Read more... |
| Oct 16 |
And Justice for All?
What date will mark the beginning of the
end, I wonder? Do I dare hope that Freedom will once more prevail,
and that the Great Experiment will live on? Read more... |
| Oct 14 |
Follow that Link
It's war, and I'm not entirely sure
"normalcy" is what we should be seeking. For those who really believe in Freedom, it's time to get moving. Read more... |
| Oct 14 |
Contractions
Concentric circles. The space gets smaller
and smaller, but it's not bad if you can get used to it. Read more... |
| Oct 10 |
Bits and Pieces
Totally random shit. Read more... |
| Oct 07 |
Nowhere to Run
More Charles Bukowski. I'm running out of
words. Read
more... |
| Oct 06 |
Like the Weather
Sunlight is my bestest friend. Read more... |
| Oct 05 |
Some of My Best Friends are
Women....
Let's just say that it's been a long week
and circumstance has been rapidly draining me of any semblance of
optimism. I know that things really don't change just because you
want them to, but it's not the easiest thing to accept that this is
the way things are supposed to be. Read more... |
| Oct 01 |
First of the Month
The surest thing about luck is that it will
change. Read
more... |
| Sep 30 |
Last Days
More sophistry and philosophy. I guess I
really am depressed. ECT, here I come. Read more... |
| Sep 27 |
Debacle
Self-pity at 4am. Yes, I could've gone home,
and none of this would've ever happened. Read more... |
| Sep 22 |
The Last Day of Summer
The last day of summer always feels so cold.
Read more... |
| Sep 19 |
The Oath
Why I feel the way I feel, right or wrong.
Read more... |
| Sep 17 |
Still Searching for Words
In reality, nothing ever fits right, and the
words all come out wrong, but you've got to try anyway. Read more... |
| Sep 15 |
The Post-WTC World
What will be written in the history books, I
wonder? Read
more... |
| Sep 15 |
Peace on Earth
Venting. Thank God for the sane people in
this world. Read
more... |
| Sep 13 |
25
My mind is everywhere. I am trying to find
hope. It's there somewhere, I just have to keep believing. Read more... |
| Sep 12 |
Choose Life
Do the right thing. Read more... |
| Sep 11 |
September 11, 2001
Read
more... |
| Sep 10 |
Shape of My Heart
Dropping Bombs. Hit men haven't gotten time
for love anyway. Read
more... |
| Sep 08 |
Unsustainable
An eruption of brain farts. Nothing really
interesting today. Read
more... |
| Sep 05 |
On the Edge of Ruin (How The Simpsons
Made Me Cry)
I mutter about philosophy and spirituality
while the chasm yawns beneath me. Read more... |
| Sep 04 |
Jedi Mind Tricks
Practicing brinksmanship with myself.
(Thoughts of Doomsday Devices and running amok floating through my
head.) Freedom is just another word for "nothing to lose." Read more... |
| Sep 02 |
Freeciv
Study break: half an hour of Freeciv. Half
an hour. Sure. Read
more... |
| Sep 02 |
Wizard's School
Ursula K Le Guin. The Wizard of
Earthsea. We are living in a post-modern world where everything
has already been created, so everything is de facto derivative....
Read more... |
| Sep 01 |
Septembers and LotR
Get up, get up--it's the first of the
month.... Memories. From the corner of my mind.... It's time to
read the trilogy again. Read
more... |
| Aug 31 |
I Wish I Were in Glendale (A Case of
Caffeine Withdrawal)
The word for the month: "unsustainable." I
won't be home for at least another two months. How can I possibly
survive without caffeine? Read
more... |
| Aug 30 |
Words Get in the Way
I keep forgetting what I want to do.
Read more... |
| Aug 26 |
The Art of Not Wanting
Soul tripping from a tab of Tao and hit of
Te. Read
more... |
| Aug 22 |
Semi-Charmed Kind of Life
Random Chance strikes again. (In the end, I
suppose it all evens out, and nothing changes. It sort of frightens
me thinking about what sort of horrific situation I'd be in if I
didn't have this meager sort of luck.) If I had met him just a
couple of years ago, I would've been a writer for sure, damn the
consequences. Read
more... |
| Aug 20 |
3rd Person Pseudo-omniscient
More random fragments. Somedays I scare even
myself. Read
more... |
| Aug 19 |
Amnesiac
I'm a reasonable man, get off my case, get
off my case, get off my case. Hahahahahaha!!! Read more... |
| Aug 19 |
Life and Limb for a Sausage
McMuffin
I got better. The music helps. Read more... |
| Aug 18 |
Eternal and Stateless (A Tale of
Pepcid AC)
Which Way to go? Some other random stuff.
Read more... |
| Aug 18 |
Dreaming
Are you supposed to believe in dreams? Not
wishes or hopes or aspirations or anything like that--these are
things from the waking world. But actual dreams: the kaleidoscopic
menagerie of images running around your subconscious, where
disbelief is not only suspended, but quite possibly expelled and
turned over to the authorities. Where everything is true, even when
it isn't or can't possibly be. * sigh * Read more... |
| Aug 17 |
The Name of Things
Almost ought to count. Because what is
"almost" here might just be "reality" somewhere-somewhen else.
Read more... |
| Aug 17 |
Gods and Heroes
Pondering. Relationships. Godhood. Loki.
Chaos. Read
more... |
| Aug 16 |
Where is Here?
Nothing is making much sense right now, and
yet I'm still hoping for a specific outcome, no matter how far
removed from reality it might be. This is where "What-If" leads you
if you're not careful, I suppose. Read more... |
| Aug 15 |
Metaphysics on a Gloomy Day
The fruits of meditation. Don't say I didn't
warn you. Read
more... |
| Aug 10 |
I Bleed Myself Dry
Life is a highway. I want to drive it all
night long. Read
more... |
| Aug 08 |
Lunacy
OK, so my mind isn't quite back together
yet, but I'm getting there. Really. Read more... |
| Aug 08 |
Schroedinger's Limbic System
Perspective is hard to achieve if you're
hallucinating. Read
more... |
| Aug 04 |
Beautiful Day
A day in Chicago. Read more... |
| Aug 04 |
Thoughts About Ben Hur
Random movie pick. It was either this or
Spartacus. Read
more... |
| Aug 03 |
What, Me Worry?
I can pull wild explanations and
rationalizations out of my ass all day. I think they're for the
most part true as far as I can see, but I can understand how it all
looks like bullshit in the end. Read more... |
| Aug 03 |
Anno 3 in Exilio (An Acute Bout of
Homesickness)
Where in the hell did this come from. Some
random eruptions from the subconscious. Read more... |
| Aug 02 |
Chicagoland Redux
Escapades in the middle of nowhere. Read more... |
| Jul 31 |
New York City - Episode VI
My sixth trip to New York City Read more... |
| Jul 30 |
The City that Doesn't Sleep and Other
Ramblings
New York and a few random epiphanies.
Read more... |
| Jul 30 |
Technical Difficulties
Why does this exist? Read more... |
| << Fato Profugus entries from 11/05/00 to
05/16/01 << Lost entries from 06/05/01 to 07/13/01 Lunacy entries from 02/18/02 to 05/31/02>> Congestive Soul Failure entries from 06/11/02>> |
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