Thu, Nov 29, 2001 11:51PM -0600

I have been neglecting everything, bogged down in the familiar existential haze, head in the sand like the veritable ostrich, all balled up in my little shell like the proverbial tortoise. There are too many things out there in this brave new world that set the mind spinning, and I can't seem to keep focused. I just dream about things that have no meaning, playing foolish little games so as to keep my mind occupied. Christmas songs are playing, American flags are waving, and things that I haven't thought about for quite some time are suddenly bursting out of my mouth without a chance to ponder them in my usual laconic manner. I am suddenly feeling like I can say anything at any time, and I know I shouldn't wonder what this means, shouldn't attach any significance to it other than what the present moment provides.

Whatever. I have decided that my life will be like this, floating upon the ocean, going with the flow, letting the current take me whereever it will. Maybe this isn't the best way to live, but it's gotten me this far, I figure it will take me a little farther before the wave finally breaks.

In any case, there is no time to ponder all of this, no time to speak of it. If I can finally teach myself to stop forever thinking about things and finally start doing them, then maybe, just maybe, there might be hope for me yet.