<< Fato Profugus entries from 11/05/00 to 05/16/01
<< Lost entries from 06/05/01 to 07/13/01
Lunacy entries from 02/18/02 to 05/31/02>>
Congestive Soul Failure entries from 06/11/02>>

What a Damned Mess

Feb 07
Brain Worms (Existential Crisis #8)
This is just pitiful and pathetic. Read more...
Feb 06
Substance D
Dopamine and the nucleus accumbens. Read more...
Feb 05
Shoulda, Coulda
Existential crisis #7 Read more...
Jan 27
Med School Ruined My Life
My sense of normalcy has been completely destroyed. Read more...
Jan 25
Commando
Caveat: Zippers really chafe. Read more...
Jan 24
You Call This A Blog?
"Procrastination is like masturbation. It's fun until you realize you're only screwing yourself." Read more...
Jan 23
What Day Is It?
Randomness percolating in my brain. Read more...
Jan 19
Existential Crisis - Episode 6
A meditation. Thinking of things that should not be thought of at this particular hour. Read more...
Jan 16
Snowfall
Everything is a map to me. Snow makes me feel like I've been transported to another world. Read more...
Jan 16
Addiction (For Love of a Stump)
Acrotomophiliacs. Are endorphins even more addicting than heroin? Read more...
Jan 13
Break It Down Again
"Laziness" doesn't seem quite descriptive enough. Neither does "atypical depression." What the hell is this monkey sitting on my shoulder? Read more...
Jan 10
It Wasn't That the World Changed...
More thoughts about Dhalgren and the nature of synchronicity. Read more...
Jan 09
An Excerpt from Dhalgren
Then sometimes you just have to appropriate a passage from someone else's masterpiece because it all fits so well. Read more...
Jan 06
Slide
For every punch in the gut you take, sometimes they give you a lollipop. Doesn't do much for the pain, but hey, you take what you get, right? Read more...
Jan 05
New Year, Shnew Year
Stress can be a real killer. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! Read more...
Dec 31
It's the End of the World as We Know It
Time marches on. Read more...
Dec 11
Alanganin
Am I a failure? You can't fail if you don't try. (As Homer Simpson once said, "Trying is the first step to failure.") Read more...
Dec 08
Insomnia
Deep, depressing thoughts at 4:30am. Read more...
Dec 05
The Edge of Decision
Drive. Read more...
Dec 04
But Not Yet
Serious weirdness all around. Read more...
Dec 03
My Random Self
More insane garbage spewing out of my mind. Anything to pass the time more quickly. I can't wait to go home. Read more...
Dec 01
The Devil's Playground
Back to the art of not wanting. Oh, but how my heart aches. Read more...
Nov 29
Is It Real?
Vague as usual. Where is my mind. Read more...
Nov 24
Just Look At The Sky
With all this talk of drama and all, I have suddenly realized what I miss the most. Read more...
Nov 21
Fragged and Shagged
Bits and pieces of me keep passing out. Read more...
Nov 19
Pandora's Box
A soap opera is brewing. (At least in my head.) Maybe I should just stick to my "Hear no evil, see no evil" policy. Read more...
Nov 15
Brown Buffalo
Viva la Revolucion. Mabuhay ang Himagsikan. More and more, I'm believing that we're fighting a common struggle that transcends race, religion, social class, or whatever axis you want to devise. Are you a cockroach or an exterminator? The conquered or the conqueror? In other words, are you for or against humanity? Read more...
Nov 10
Whelm
Neither under or over. Read more...
Nov 01
All Saints
Breasts. Testicles. Electroconvulsive therapy. Read more...
Oct 31
Cutting at Oblique Angles (Doing Things the Hard Way)
I like to organize things, even memories, landfill style, one stratum at a time. Read more...
Oct 26
I Don't Want No One Minute Blog
I'm done. It's snowing. I'm outta here. Read more...
Oct 24
Jack the Ripper
Johnny Depp, laudanum and absinthe, pathology and clinical neuroscience, Freemasonry. It's got it all. Read more...
Oct 23
One to Go
To Infinity and Beyond! Get paid for lying in bed for thirty days straight. Read more...
Oct 22
I Read the News Today, Oh Boy
TV really does rot your brain. Shouldn't capitalism be subservient to democracy and not the other way around? Read more...
Oct 19
High Intensity White Noise (Flight of Ideas)
No I'm not crazy. Yet. God give me strength. Read more...
Oct 17
Last Night Radiohead Saved My Life (One Thing Leads to Another)
Sleep deprivation and a classic case of flight of ideas. Thank God for Thom Yorke and his merry men. Read more...
Oct 16
And Justice for All?
What date will mark the beginning of the end, I wonder? Do I dare hope that Freedom will once more prevail, and that the Great Experiment will live on? Read more...
Oct 14
Follow that Link
It's war, and I'm not entirely sure "normalcy" is what we should be seeking. For those who really believe in Freedom, it's time to get moving. Read more...
Oct 14
Contractions
Concentric circles. The space gets smaller and smaller, but it's not bad if you can get used to it. Read more...
Oct 10
Bits and Pieces
Totally random shit. Read more...
Oct 07
Nowhere to Run
More Charles Bukowski. I'm running out of words. Read more...
Oct 06
Like the Weather
Sunlight is my bestest friend. Read more...
Oct 05
Some of My Best Friends are Women....
Let's just say that it's been a long week and circumstance has been rapidly draining me of any semblance of optimism. I know that things really don't change just because you want them to, but it's not the easiest thing to accept that this is the way things are supposed to be. Read more...
Oct 01
First of the Month
The surest thing about luck is that it will change. Read more...
Sep 30
Last Days
More sophistry and philosophy. I guess I really am depressed. ECT, here I come. Read more...
Sep 27
Debacle
Self-pity at 4am. Yes, I could've gone home, and none of this would've ever happened. Read more...
Sep 22
The Last Day of Summer
The last day of summer always feels so cold. Read more...
Sep 19
The Oath
Why I feel the way I feel, right or wrong. Read more...
Sep 17
Still Searching for Words
In reality, nothing ever fits right, and the words all come out wrong, but you've got to try anyway. Read more...
Sep 15
The Post-WTC World
What will be written in the history books, I wonder? Read more...
Sep 15
Peace on Earth
Venting. Thank God for the sane people in this world. Read more...
Sep 13
25
My mind is everywhere. I am trying to find hope. It's there somewhere, I just have to keep believing. Read more...
Sep 12
Choose Life
Do the right thing. Read more...
Sep 11
September 11, 2001
Read more...
Sep 10
Shape of My Heart
Dropping Bombs. Hit men haven't gotten time for love anyway. Read more...
Sep 08
Unsustainable
An eruption of brain farts. Nothing really interesting today. Read more...
Sep 05
On the Edge of Ruin (How The Simpsons Made Me Cry)
I mutter about philosophy and spirituality while the chasm yawns beneath me. Read more...
Sep 04
Jedi Mind Tricks
Practicing brinksmanship with myself. (Thoughts of Doomsday Devices and running amok floating through my head.) Freedom is just another word for "nothing to lose." Read more...
Sep 02
Freeciv
Study break: half an hour of Freeciv. Half an hour. Sure. Read more...
Sep 02
Wizard's School
Ursula K Le Guin. The Wizard of Earthsea. We are living in a post-modern world where everything has already been created, so everything is de facto derivative.... Read more...
Sep 01
Septembers and LotR
Get up, get up--it's the first of the month.... Memories. From the corner of my mind.... It's time to read the trilogy again. Read more...
Aug 31
I Wish I Were in Glendale (A Case of Caffeine Withdrawal)
The word for the month: "unsustainable." I won't be home for at least another two months. How can I possibly survive without caffeine? Read more...
Aug 30
Words Get in the Way
I keep forgetting what I want to do. Read more...
Aug 26
The Art of Not Wanting
Soul tripping from a tab of Tao and hit of Te. Read more...
Aug 22
Semi-Charmed Kind of Life
Random Chance strikes again. (In the end, I suppose it all evens out, and nothing changes. It sort of frightens me thinking about what sort of horrific situation I'd be in if I didn't have this meager sort of luck.) If I had met him just a couple of years ago, I would've been a writer for sure, damn the consequences. Read more...
Aug 20
3rd Person Pseudo-omniscient
More random fragments. Somedays I scare even myself. Read more...
Aug 19
Amnesiac
I'm a reasonable man, get off my case, get off my case, get off my case. Hahahahahaha!!! Read more...
Aug 19
Life and Limb for a Sausage McMuffin
I got better. The music helps. Read more...
Aug 18
Eternal and Stateless (A Tale of Pepcid AC)
Which Way to go? Some other random stuff. Read more...
Aug 18
Dreaming
Are you supposed to believe in dreams? Not wishes or hopes or aspirations or anything like that--these are things from the waking world. But actual dreams: the kaleidoscopic menagerie of images running around your subconscious, where disbelief is not only suspended, but quite possibly expelled and turned over to the authorities. Where everything is true, even when it isn't or can't possibly be. * sigh * Read more...
Aug 17
The Name of Things
Almost ought to count. Because what is "almost" here might just be "reality" somewhere-somewhen else. Read more...
Aug 17
Gods and Heroes
Pondering. Relationships. Godhood. Loki. Chaos. Read more...
Aug 16
Where is Here?
Nothing is making much sense right now, and yet I'm still hoping for a specific outcome, no matter how far removed from reality it might be. This is where "What-If" leads you if you're not careful, I suppose. Read more...
Aug 15
Metaphysics on a Gloomy Day
The fruits of meditation. Don't say I didn't warn you. Read more...
Aug 10
I Bleed Myself Dry
Life is a highway. I want to drive it all night long. Read more...
Aug 08
Lunacy
OK, so my mind isn't quite back together yet, but I'm getting there. Really. Read more...
Aug 08
Schroedinger's Limbic System
Perspective is hard to achieve if you're hallucinating. Read more...
Aug 04
Beautiful Day
A day in Chicago. Read more...
Aug 04
Thoughts About Ben Hur
Random movie pick. It was either this or Spartacus. Read more...
Aug 03
What, Me Worry?
I can pull wild explanations and rationalizations out of my ass all day. I think they're for the most part true as far as I can see, but I can understand how it all looks like bullshit in the end. Read more...
Aug 03
Anno 3 in Exilio (An Acute Bout of Homesickness)
Where in the hell did this come from. Some random eruptions from the subconscious. Read more...
Aug 02
Chicagoland Redux
Escapades in the middle of nowhere. Read more...
Jul 31
New York City - Episode VI
My sixth trip to New York City Read more...
Jul 30
The City that Doesn't Sleep and Other Ramblings
New York and a few random epiphanies. Read more...
Jul 30
Technical Difficulties
Why does this exist? Read more...
<< Fato Profugus entries from 11/05/00 to 05/16/01
<< Lost entries from 06/05/01 to 07/13/01
Lunacy entries from 02/18/02 to 05/31/02>>
Congestive Soul Failure entries from 06/11/02>>