Non Possum Sperare
Drown My Sorrow
Moving On
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Spring 1997 19991125
            I wait
             confusion   delusions
                    lightning thunder

               shifting sands
        down the hour glass
          sand, glass, heat
                     I'm melting
             shocking and unpleasant, isn't it?
                        |__But we're still here
                            You and I
                           pacing back and forth
                            circling each other
                        you with your weary disinterest
                         and me with my endless madness

                        But the truth is never real
                        the only thing the mind comprehends
                             are lies
                            Abort, is it?
                        wisdom, knowledge
                              Pain.  Deceit.
                     Forever and ever
                           I'd love you, no end
                      Forever and ever
   I am a shadow darkening your path
      subtle madness harrowing your existence
Where can I go
      where I will not dream of you?
Where can I run to
        from these feelings whirling inside me?
  Endless madness that I foolishly call love
          but you would never know it
  'cause it's all inside me
       trapped, tearing at the walls of my mind  _____________
                               In time I will say it all
                                but for what good, what good?
                                     It will plunge me into despair
                           I'll surely drown in the cold sea of my tears

                                        Even my sorrow is a cliche
                                        In less than a blink of an eye
                                        In less than the time it takes
                                           to realize you are even blinking
                                        You turn away
                                   not seeing me
                                   or maybe you do see me
                                        but it doesn't matter

                                    Your disinterest does not cut
                                         no, it scrapes, it rasps,
                              leaves my bleeding pink flesh exposed to the air
                      I sit before you
                      You never see me
                              I listen
                      hear your pine for love
                         ache with desire
                      You never see me
                      To any other man, it would have been clear
                         All doubt would have been lifted
                  Oh why does this stay in my mind
                         Even when it cannot possibly be?
©1997,1999 by Victor Ganata