Chasm

She sits five feet away from me, yet it might as well be a light-year
 I have no hope of bridging the gap
        no hope of filling the chasm
                yet still I long…
Perhaps it is only wishing to finish what I started
    come to a clean end and get on with my life
But the stillness in my heart keeps me frozen in place
   Slowly dying with every breath.
Perhaps it is only wishing to share my heart freely
     to worry not of receiving pain and sorrow
     but only giving joy and laughter
        without counting the cost.
Yet my heart is as heavy as stone, hard as rock
  and I grow cold and numb with each passing second
           If only I were brave, and the stillness in my heart were broken
             then I could do what I needed to do
             and face the consequences no matter how dire
                  I could live.
           But I'm not brave.