Signs and Symptoms

Sat Apr 12 2003 11:21AM -0600

I know, I know, not like more than 2.5 people are reading this, but, you know, in the interest of platonic ideals of aesthetics and ease of use, I am contemplating whether to continue having this front page display the latest entry only, or to change it to display the latest entries within a day. But enough metadiscourse. For now, read today's earlier entry if you want to.

Just to warn you, it is very common for me to wax prosaic on things that don't necessarily have anything to do with current events. (I was going to say "reality," but given the fluid, undefinable nature of that beast, and the known fact that I have problems keeping touch with reality in the first place, I opted for a phrase that's even more useless.) I suppose I just like being verbose. Logorrhea! Logorrhea!

In any case, though, I will be my usual vague self and utter this: it is entertaining to recognize how many of these signs can actually be true or can actually have happened and still not mean anything. Or, to paraphrase Iñigo Montoya, they mean things that don't necessarily mean what you think it means. As William Gibson might put it, it is a serious case of apophenia.

I thought about proceeding with a time-consuming academic analysis of these things, but thought better of it, and will just present them unsorted, but arbitrarily numbered. Yes, I realize that some of these things are signs of something else entirely (see the friend zone at the bottom of the linked article), but I mention them because they (to use a phrase favored by pathologists) are not uncommon. Comments appreciated, even if you're just going to tell me that I'm a dumbass and to stop thinking too hard about this. (Why yes, I agree, there may very well be something wrong with me.)

  1. She asks guardedly whether or not you're still interested in that woman she knows you were/are interested in

  2. She tries to convince you to go/stay where she's going/staying (in terms of long-term plans, i.e., in the 5-to-10 year range.)

  3. She spends a lot of time with you.

  4. You're the first person she calls when she's bored.

  5. She emphasizes to you the fact that her guy friends are just that, friends.

  6. She says things like "You're one of the few people I feel I can trust," or "Sure, I've met a few cool people like you, but otherwise..."

  7. She likes touching you. Not necessarily in a dirty way.

  8. She spontaneously asks you out. Not that it's necessarily really a date.

  9. She tells you things she hasn't told other people.

Anyway. These things came to mind when I heard this hilarious story about this cocky guy I know who really doesn't have much experience with dealing with women, and presumed very wrongly that this woman was interested in him (and believe me, there were some pretty obvious signs that she wasn't, like telling him that she was interested in his friend, for example.) On the other hand, there are guys who, despite some very obvious signs (like physically being all over you and asking you to come up to her apartment, for example), remain (often times purposefully) oblivious.

Well. As they say, nice guys finish last. To quote Mario, who so masterfully adapted Biz Markie's lyrics: "You, you got what I need! But you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend...."

The next list I'll tackle...eventually: signs that the woman you're interested in has broken up with her boyfriend. Oh, and maybe, a discussion of whether or not it is appropriate to pursue the ex-girlfriend of one of your friends.

My God. Where is my mind?

contact me via .

The design for this page was adapted from Mark Olson's design industrofunk, which can be found at Open Source Web Design Download the sample page.