Completely Shot Out

Fri Nov 15 2002 03:40AM -0600

Everything is amusing at 3:40am when you are hungry and still a little tired from being awake for 32 out of the past 35 hours. Oh boy. I'm extraordinarily incoherent at this point. I had something to say, but it sort of just fell apart.

So. Did I mention this before? I can't remember. There was this study that attempted to demonstrate that you can actually make yourself happy (well, maybe happy is not the right word... maybe content? Cow-like contentment. I don't know) Anyway, you can force yourself to be happy by faking a smile because of the supposed neural feedback loops formed by branches of cranial nerve V and VII, something about tight modulation and all sorts of possibly pseudoscientific crap. I will find the URL again sometime. Not to say that it's not true, but I mean on face value it does sound ridiculous doesn't it? In any case, I have been trying it anyway, although I gotta tell you, it's pretty hard to smile when everyone else around you is in a miserable mood and looking pretty pissed off. No one likes a smart-ass with a shit-eating grin on their face.

But this wasn't the point of this story, and the longer I sit at this keyboard, the more I realize that I don't know what I'm doing, both in a local and in a general sense.

In any case. We'll see if I can somehow escape the clutches of Internal Medicine. Not to say that I'm not enjoying my rotation thus far--I am learning quite a lot lately, although as the amount of information I need to process continues to accumulate, I'm finding that fewer and fewer of these ideas are penetrating into my brain. It's just that these 36 hour call days are pretty demanding, and I wonder if I can really manage to fit some variety into my life.

And more importantly, will I manage to write about it, or about anything at all?

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