the (future) evil resident

featuring tips and tricks for the medical student doing clinical rotations



congestive soul failure

last days of the republic


(r, your all-lowercase style is infectious.)

you know who they are. every residency program has them, the bane of medical students and attendings alike. the intern's recurring nightmare. maybe even sometimes, a patient's very own personal angel of death.

the pgy3 who pages you in the middle of the night just to tell you that work rounds start in two hours and 17 minutes, sharp, on pain of eternal rectal exam duty. the senior who makes everyone else write notes, thereby writing nothing on his own except for the addenda: "agree with ms3 note," and then blames you when the attending calls him out for making a mistake. the intermediate who answers all of your questions with "why don't you read about it tonight and give a 15 minute presentation tomorrow in front of the attending." the intern who knows less than you do, and thereby decides you need to suffer because of it.

my current favorite adjective for this sort of behavior is "malignant." yes, the evil resident is a cancer to be cut out of the parenchyma of the residency program before he/she metastasizes. (and isn't kind of funny how you can tell how far through a surgery resident is by how bitter he/she is?)

but ware, all ye who match after 2004. i aspire one day to be the evil resident. it will be my distinct pleasure to torture medical students, just because. besides. suffering builds character.

this blog is dedicated to all medical students currently doing clinical rotations, featuring various tips and tricks to minimize the amount of yelling you will receive from everyone at the hospital and/or clinic from attendings, residents, nurses, techs, and janitors alike. the one invariable thing that rotations teach, regardless of which one, is humility, and i think it is a very valuable thing to learn. because without humility, you will never learn from your mistakes, and trust me, you will always make mistakes. (plus, some attendings can smell cockiness from a mile away, and like sharks, they will tear you to bits first if they smell it on you.)

content copyright vmg 2003

DISCLAIMER: This site is a parody in the spirit of The House of God by Samuel Shem and the TV show "Scrubs." If you take anything I say seriously, well, you probably have some problems you might want to see a psychiatrist for.