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If I Don't Believe in It, It Will Go Away

Tue, Apr 10, 2001 11:34PM -0600

I am having problems with motivation right now. The way I figure it, if I don't think about it, nothing is wrong. Hehe. This is terrible. I can't afford to be sick until June.

Let me do some venting. Perhaps it will do me some good.

So that Playstation 2 has basically jacked-up my finances beyond belief, and I have pretty much lost control of my credit card at this point. I am contemplating cashing that cash advance check, knowing full well it will mean my doom.

Still, it's a lot of fun. I can't help but feel that I am way too old for this now, and generally I have used the DVD function more than the game console function (having watched "Taxi Driver" and having bought "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" . But I have spent a good chunk of time playing Tekken Tag Tournament and Zone of Enders as well.

But this is not the point of this entry.

I've been meaning to write about this for some time now, except I really don't know who to tell. After all, it really doesn't involve me. I am just a spectator who happens to have a seat in the middle of the ring.

I have really begun to make a religion out of the concept that if I don't talk about it, it isn't real.

So it's not real. Just the mad fluctuations of my overly active pattern recognition module in my brain. Hallucinations. See kids, this here is the reason not to do drugs.

But the main problem is that I really, really would like to preserve some anonymity here, so I will try to write this up without mentioning names, or even genders, and I will try to make the relationships between the characters as obscure as possible. Wow, this will be fun.

I REPEAT: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. Any resemblance to persons living, dead, unborn, or undead is purely coincidental. In other words, I am pulling this out of my ass and writing it down to satisfy the bizarre needs of my mesolimbic dopaminergic reward circuit.

Picture this: two people whom I will call Julia and Ophelia. Julia is in a relationship with Christine but spends a lot of time with Ophelia.

I'm sure you've read this book before. I can only hope that my mad extrapolations of human psychology/sociology are wildly off base, and all of this is just pointless.

Wow. That wasn't satisfying at all. Damn it.

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