At the Bottom of the 1st Inning, the Score Is...

Fri Jul 25 2003 05:27PM -0600

OK. Today was a good day. Despite the fact that I spent most of it at work.

Maybe it was just the fact that I started the day with coffee (A Great One from Dunkin' Donuts. Oh yeah.)

Maybe it's because I'm on psychotropic drugs, and they're finally having an effect on me.

But, yeah, I remember feeling good about myself last night, for no reason in particular. And then I got these cards this morning. And for some reason, I was content. I mean, nothing has really changed. (Everything that was wrong before is still wrong.) Although there is this strange subjective feeling that my insides are actually filled with sunlight, instead of the bleak, heavy darkness that has been choking my soul these past few years (as in this example.)

And for once, I don't feel like this good mood will evaporate. I mean, usually, whenever I feel this good, I keep thinking that something is going to go wrong very soon, and I am usually right.

But this time, it doesn't matter. I mean, there are definite things that could utterly ruin me (like any of the people I care about dying, for example) but most of the trials and tribulations of a normal day would probably only slow me down a bit. And then I would recover.

Maybe I'm starting to finally pick up a little momentum. And even if I don't make it anywhere good, I still think that at least I'll be able to hang out in this emotional location for a while, and just soak it all up.

Things are OK right now. I just gotta keep my stride. And get up again if I happen to fall.

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