Underneath It All

Sun Aug 03 2003 03:20PM -0600
I don't believe in nothing no more! I'm going to law school!  Jimbo Jones from "The Simpsons"

Well, no, not really (though there have been times that the thought has crossed my mind.)

I think I am well on to becoming a fully fledged nihilist, though.

Me: I don't want to be here but I don't want to be there either.

A: Well, you can't be nowhere.

Sometimes I'd like to try though.

In less depressing, more inane news, I just wiped my hard drive and reinstalled MacOSX. For one thing, I kept running out of hard drive space, so I wiped my Yellow Dog Linux install (which I really wasn't into because the VGA out wasn't supported. Otherwise, I might have just booted into Linux and ran MacOSX through MOL.) I figure I'll probably need all that space now that I have a camera anyway. For another thing, I had fiddled around with Netinfo, somehow confusing my system into thinking it was running MacOSX Server instead of MacOSX Client (I think it has something to do with enabling journalling) and when Software Update ran, it really borked a few things. Of course, now I've spent a greater part of the weekend retweaking my system to my tastes.

I am also considering moving my blogs to use Blosxom, as I just don't have the combination of time and talent to implement a lot of the features that I want to implement. But, like all announcements about my future plans, don't believe it until you see it.

Ah, me. Really, though, I think this is just fine, the way things are. I don't know what's wrong with me, why I can't just be OK with what I've got. (And, really, I'm much better at it now than I was before. Definitely not perfect, but much improved.)

Still, I can't help but feel like I'm settling, that I'm waving a white flag in surrender and admitting complete defeat. I think of yet another Simpsons quote:

I was wrong to have a dream. Listen to your mother, kids. Aim low. Aim so low that no will care if you succeed.  Marge Simpson

Ah well. Such are the cards dealt to me. I can only play them as best as I can.

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