In many ways, I have been adrift for almost 8 years now. I have in fact recently come to grips with the fact that there really is such a thing as land, but I have yet to find a safe harbor. As M has told me (in a slightly different, but applicable context) "So close, yet so very, very far." Naturally.

I mean, yeah, it's easy to hope for wild fantasies, especially when considering "almost." But all I should accept as real is all that I perceive in this moment in time, and as the silence lengthens, the awkwardness takes on massive proportions, and it is guaranteed to never be the same, and one day it may very well seem that none of this ever really happened.

Once again, it is time to let go, to accept only the real (as ambiguous as that word is), and to once more grow accustomed to floating upon the endless sea quite singularly alone.

Fate goes where it will.

Sailing

Takes me away

To where I've always heard it could be

Just a dream and the wind to carry me

And soon I will be free

â€â€from "Sailing" by Christopher Cross