Wed Jun 19 2002 01:09PM -0800

This mobile computing, I must say, is quite addictive. Whenever I get the urge to pull an idea out of my ass, I can just hit the power button and blog away, no matter where I am.

Of course it never fails. By the time I get Emacs fired up, I've completely forgotten what I wanted to say.

I would like (I know it's almost futile to wish) to be able to write and not have to dredge up my tattered soul in order to find something to write about. I mean, I must say, these past twenty days have been a balm to my soul. I think it was just yesterday that I started feeling OK with myself. But now I have to leave again and re-enter what now seems to me as the realm of the damned. I mean, I realize that it is totally within my power to not lose my mind as I did this past year, but my track record so far isn't exactly heartening. When insanity calls, I'm usually the first in line.

But seriously. What would it take for me to actually believe the things that I know? It's the most frustrating thing, to go completely nuts because you can't find the answer, it's absolutely nowhere to be found, and then you look and it's been in your hand the whole time. Every time I snap out of my depressions, this is how it feels, and I just have to shake my head. I mean, there's got to be a way to stop this from happening over and over again without having to resort of ECT.

Whatever. That's all for now. Hopefully I can catch this flight that I'm standing-by on.

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