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Contradictions, Contraindications, Mental Masturbation

Sun, Apr 22, 2001 03:16PM -0600

I woke up at 11:30AM this morning, having enjoyed 9 1/2 hours of sleep. It is now past 3PM and I still haven't taken a shower. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe I'm in school.

Yesterday's entry left me a little disconcerted, and I would like to pinpoint why. It's not because I'm afraid of exposing myself, because I know no one reads this. I am a little afraid that I may get myself tagged by the FBI as "potentially dangerous," but the saner part of me really doesn't believe in conspiracy theories or the Thought Police.

I think it's because the more you try to articulate what you mean, the more your words don't make any sense. Just like now.

But yes, I do realize that there are incredible contradictions in what I have spewed so far, and I think that realization basically sums up the philosophical problems I am having: I cannot reconcile what I am doing with what I am thinking or what I am feeling. In other words, nothing really makes any sense. Maybe I should just give up?

But enough of that. I'm tired of recursion. Damn you Borges.

In other news, I have been traversing the vast expanse of the Internet, jumping from blog to blog. I think it's kind of funny how a lot of the via trails I make somehow end up coming back to where I started from. More recursion. Bleh.

But still, I can't help but feel amazed at how much work people put into their blogs/websites/et al. I mean, how do you have a life outside of it, you know?

Yes, I'm just bitter that all the work I've put in hasn't really amounted to much. The more I screw with the something, the farther it gets from how I want it to look....

I am dizzy now. Time to stop.

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