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Happy New Year

Sun, Apr 01, 2001 02:00PM -0600

This day is so rife for cliches. It's like it's mandatory to post today or something, or the people I have been spying on on the web are just more regular about blogging than I am.

It's not until now, after my brother and my sister have gone home, that I realize that I usually don't get a lot of human contact, not counting this blasted box with the pretty lights and the whirring noises (and I don't know why I'm feeling silly--but then again I've always said that fatigue is pretty much like drunkeness, physiologically speaking....)

Let's try and gather my thoughts for just a second.

So, yeah, I miss my brother and my sister, and going down to the city to just hang out and throw away money like toilet paper. I have finally finished a small subquest of my life--yesterday I found a Playstation 2 at the Virgin Megastore on Michigan Avenue after 5 months of half-assed waiting. How I will eventually pay for it is something of a mystery to me, but I've been slowly accomodating to the fact that I will be in debt for my entire life, and the banks will own me for at least five years, but probably 10 years. Jesus, I might as well be guilty of involuntary manslaughter.

I also had something clever to say about capitalism, but you know how fast clever sayings get stale. All I can say is that it is apt that I consider myself an exile--in addition to the literal meaning, there are multiple figurative meanings that I will elucidate eventually. But, yes, it's quite disturbing how many people equate happiness with owning nice things. Not to say that I'm not guilty of it myself, but even my most socially aware, progressive-thinking friends and acquaintances who are trying to lighten the load of the oppressed are quite inured in the ways of our consumer culture. It can't last forever, and since I'm a fan of escatology, I'm pretty sure it's all going to blow up in my lifetime, and for some reason I feel like I'm going to end up on the wrong team. (Maybe it's my delusional affinity to Ferdinand-Louise Celine, who rooted for the Axis during WWII. Then again, it might be my family history of collaboration. These things are complicated and I don't think it's fair to judge right and wrong from the perspective of hindsight. But then again, it's quite obvious that life isn't fair. Oh well. Enough of this tangent.)

I find it hilariously ironic that the weather finally got nice now that my brother and my sister are no longer here. I really should take advantage of it somehow, but I am just insanely tired, and I can't even muster the will to take a shower.

Hmmm. Cleverness seems to elude me. The more I chase after it, the stupider I feel. Maybe it'll come to me later.

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