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I Would've, If Only...

Wed, May 16, 2001 05:15PM -0600

I contemplated the lunacy and ludicrousness of just showing up mysteriously, sitting in the back row and staring, like the stalker that I am obviously becoming, but I really didn't feel like scaring people, and it's been a hard, rough weekend, one of those vacations that you need another vacation to recover from. (Yes, this is purposefully cryptic, because, as bizarre as it seems, people actually read this, and if you really want to go up against futility, you can read the archives and try to make some sense of it, which will be hard since it's not finished yet...) I'm not sure I'm going to be up to partying in N.Y.C. for 13 days straight, but, like many wise men and women have pointed out, life is short. Carpe diem and all that razzmatazz.

I have to tell you, I feel like the world is a much more desolate place since I learned that Douglas Adams died from a heart attack last week. But then I finally reread So Long and Thanks for All the Fish and reread God's final message to his Creation, and, like Marvin the Paranoid Android, felt pretty good about it, but I guess it's hard to accept when someone is just gone forever. (And while I realize that at best, these songs are only coincidentally related to DNA's seminal works, I still think of him when I hear "Paranoid Android" by Radiohead and "Don't Panic" by Coldplay)

I had avoided So Long for quite a while, because it was set mostly on Earth, it's kind of lovy-dovy, and some people have claimed that it is a mutilation of the universe that Douglas Adams created (a la "Highlander 2" , "Wing Commander" the movie, and "The Phantom Menace" , just to name a few examples of creative mutilation). But I realize that this is also kind of what I'm looking for--to find the one person in the entire world who just gets the dark dirty secret of the universe and who isn't depressed about it or driven insane by it. I mean, it's clearly a fairy-tale, but I have never been one to wish for possible things.

And it's funny what hormones, Ouija boards, and straight-up Random Chance will get a credulous man believing. Alas.

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