Not quite a quote. I only sliced out the parts I liked.
"...he's a terrible dancer."
Right now, me getting killed would be redundant.
"And his teeth are weird, not rotten, but crooked and little."
You could stab a knife right through my heart and you'd be too late.
"And he has these gross little monkey hands."
Right now, getting killed would be a breath of spring.
"That's supposed to mean he has a little wiener dick...."
"And he's not obese," [she] says, "he's not a whale, but he's too fat for me."
In case there's a sniper outside, I open the blinds and stand my gross obese body in the window. Please, anybody with a rifle and a scope. Shoot me right here. Right in my big fat heart. Right in my little wiener.
--from Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk