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I Have Nothing

19990514-0001-08 19991128-2357-06
I have nothing to write about
 yet the ink keeps flowing
I have nothing to talk about
 but my mouth keeps going

I have nothing to dream about
 but sleep still takes me
I have nothing I dare to hold on to
 but my arms still try grasping

I have nothing but these empty words
 with which I try to attach some meaning
I have nothing but my memories
 blurring faster than I can write them down

I have nothing but inertia
 holding me down, keeping me from floating away
I have nothing but fear of death
 that keeps me from saying goodbye today

I have nothing and want nothing more
 but my fear keeps me from really seeing
That I'm lying through my teeth
 and holding all this in:
       all the hopes I ever had
       all the wishes that I've made
       all the love and joy I have longed for
       all the hatred that consumes me
       all the pain embedded deep in my heart
           making me want to sleep forever
           though it is what keeps me alive.
©1999 by Victor Ganata