Wed, May 22, 2002 11:24AM -0600

T minus 7 days 20 hours 36 minutes

Now if only everybody would play along, I might just get through this. (I seriously don't care about the USMLE right now.) Everybody. Laugh with me now. Remember, everything is funny as long as it's not happening to you. And if enough time elapses, I think that it's possible to glean at least slight amusement from even the most tragic circumstances.

So in times of desperation (such as now, needless to say), I turn to the Internet. (Someday I will write down the list of blogs that now insidiously affect my daily life, but not now.) Now I'm sure you've all seen those personality tests all over the place, their URLs forwarded to you by friends or sent to you as spam. I am clearly quite skeptical about the phenomena. But when you're bored or frustrated or when you're stoned and want something to amuse yourself with, they're not bad forms of entertainment.

Still, this Colorgenics personality profile (gleaned from today's entry from really pinned my current situation down. It's so seriously scary that I can't help but laugh.


At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquillity and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).

You are feeling very vulnerable at this time. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction - business wise, private-life wise, everything. You need some emotional security and an environment which could possibly provide fewer problems, but the way you are feeling you can't be bothered even to make the effort.

You feel that you deserve far more than is being attributed to you, but there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

--from Colorgenics



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