Today

Thu, Apr 11, 2002 03:06PM -0600

To counterbalance my endless bitching and moaning about the universe, let me just acknowledge that today is a Good Day¢€ž¡. It is 72 degrees and sunny, and sitting behind the wheel with my foot on the gas, I felt like I was invincible, with sunlight glinting off the chrome, shimmering through the trees, a smile on my face for once.

It was as if the radio station had discovered the contents of my soul and decided to make a playlist out of it, every singer cheerily crooning about the bittersweet longing in my heart, accompanied by smooth, bassy beats that made me want to dance and laugh. I had come to realize that trying to force myself to fill the emptiness in my heart is futile, but that trying to pretend that that emptiness isn't there is likewise fraught with peril. What I must do is acknowledge this emptiness, recognize that it is there, accept that I must live with it for now, accept that I am not whole, and that it is all right to be incomplete.

e-mail: aswang@earthlink.net

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