Done

Thu, Apr 04, 2002 11:26PM -0600

So at least I know that being alone is not going to kill me, at least not right away. I'm not sure how many times I can stand going through the meat grinder, but I know that it's doable, which I suppose is the best that I can expect.

All I can really do right now is minimize the damage.

In my more lucid moments, I do appreciate the things I have learned in the past year. How to trust. How to let go. How to have fun. Not to say that I always remember these things that I've learned, or that I even necessarily put into practice these things, but at least it is better than before. What can I say. It could be worse. (It could be a lot better, too, but these are the cards I've been dealt.)

But no matter what anyone says, I cannot force this matter. Whatever happens happens, and if there's any skill I've managed to hone in this long lonely span of time, it's the art of resignation. In the immortal words of my oldest friend (now undoubtedly happily traipsing throughout Southeast Asia), "Fuck it."

e-mail: aswang@earthlink.net

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